just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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