So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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