i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
