his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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