So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
