he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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