I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
