I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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