oh god the rape fog is back!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
