He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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