And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
