the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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