is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
