You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
