Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
