glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
