im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
