Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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