Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
