i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
