you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
