There is no way he is gay with that hair.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
