I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
