i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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