this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
