its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
