is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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