Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
