Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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