I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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