Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
