if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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