I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
