there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
