I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize