I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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