Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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