Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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