I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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