please come you make the beer taste better
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
