yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize