I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
