i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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