Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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