i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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