can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
