Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
