Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
