Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
