That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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