..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
