If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
