I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
