GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You've changed since you got that strap on
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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