she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
