This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
