Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize